Friday, May 11, 2007

The Top 5 Hot Chicks in "Bring It On"

"Bring It On" is a really enjoyable movie. It's pretty vapid and has little artistic value. I feel guilty saying I like it, and that is has a decent storyline, flow and social commentary packed into every single scene (white guilt/cultural identity/gayness to name a few). It is a movie filled with hot chicks, and the DVD was a Christmas gift from one of my friends. It's a gold mine for hot young actresses and skimpy outfits. Oddly enough, Kirsten Dunst was in another film with tons of hot chicks and skimpy outfits called "Drop Dead Gorgeous". It is a tremendous black comedy. A great thing about both movies is that women enjoy watching them as well. It's like sitting down for a movie night with your girl and "having" to slog through "Mean Girls". It's a sacrifice. This list is of the top 5 hot chicks in "Bring It On", with some rationale and commentary on where the movie could have picked up some bonus points in my opinion.

Honorable Mentions
Big Red, the Asian chick Whitney, and Blaque - Big Red had a bomb ass body. She really did and still does, check her photos on IMDB. While I like red hair, I think she would look better as a brunette. Still, her body was rockin'; she has a tremendous rack of lamb up top. Ba-jam in the right places. My wife says Ba-jam a lot when describing women with good bodies. The Asian girl had that tough, Asian bitch thing going, and combined with really good features, could have been spun out a bit. They could have had a little bit with her being a disciplinarian with some of the other cheerleaders (a total stereotype). I mention Blaque, because the short lived female R&B group Blaque made up a few of the cheerleaders from the "Compton" themed squad. These girls were attractive, played total stereotypes, but jumped around in skimpy outfits. Fine by me.
5. Kirsten Dunst (Torrance) - Kirsten doesn't look good anymore, but in this movie and that range of movies she made between "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and "Crazy/Beautiful" she looked amazing. Her face and horrible teeth are what bring her down, but in this movie uhhh, the skimpy clothes did not care about her teeth. Her boobs look real, and have a nice juxtaposition compared to her midsection. She's the lead, and she's 5th. That is how stacked this movie is. No phot of Dunst as she is overexposed, and she really has jumped the shark. COuldn't she get a tan and have her teeth fixed? Isn't this what the millions you earn from Spiderman movies should go into to prolong your career?
4. Clare Kramer (Courtney) - A bit of an attitude, a really curvy backside, and a pretty face pushes her ahead of Dunst. The car wash scene, which was inserted into the movie guys could masturbate, is a shining moment for her. She looks really good in the swimsuit they selected for her (especially the bottom). She has two of the best lines in the movie when she accuses Dunst of having "cheer-sex" and calls Dunst a "cheer-tator". There's some fire in her lines. Her ass is awesome.

3. Gabrielle Union (Isis) - Gabrielle Union was 28 when she played the role of a high school senior, and she pulled it off well. I couldn't believe she was pushing 30 when this came out. Check out the photo, and I know it's been airbrushed, but so what. Her body is amazing, she has a great smile, she has that smoldering sexy look down, and uhhhh, her skin is flawless. I enjoy watching the lip synch-dance routine to "Mickey" at the end of the movie, and seeing when she comes on the screen. She does this hip thing that is out of my book for how to dance and seduce ladies, and she combines it with a roll and sexy facial expression that is superb. Watch this sequence in the movie.

I wish they had shown the "compton" squad working on their routine in a montage as well as Dunst's squad. More shots of Blaque and Union in skimpy outfits would have made this movie even better. They could have set it to one of those upbeat Hip-Hop instrumentals. Maybe a shower scene or post-shower scene. No, this is not a Skinemx film, no shower scenes.

2. Tsianina Joelson (Darcy) - No one ever talks about this girl, and she has not done much after the movie, but she is sooooo fine in the movie. It's a hidden find, too. I have one friend who was nuts over her in the flick. As he stated "she has a classical beauty to her that makes the other girls just look cute". Even when Sparky Pilastre, a hilarious cameo, builds her up to rip on her about her ass, her body still looks nearly flawless. This phot is from her days on Xena Warrior Princess. She has that jet black hair and defined facial features that make me think of her as a young, less attractive Monica Belucci.

One thing I think was missing from the movie was the "sleepover scene". If this were an '80s movie, it would have been in there, but alas, it is not. The scene would have had them sneaking in some alcohol, dancing around in their pajamas, fighting with pillows and "practicing" making out. This is one of the reason why I miss the 1980s. In the '80s, there was almost always a nude scene in a movie, especially cheerleader movies. Oh wait, not high school cheerleader movies. Maybe that was too much to ask, but if I were the director, it would have been in there.

1. Eliza Dushku (Missy) - Without a doubt, the sexiest of the girls in this movie. She looked great in the cheering uniform, full cothing, and then the car wash scene. As a running theme, you should now be fully aware of how I prefer women who have meat on their bones to the sticks that Hollywood constantly pushes down our throats. Eliza is thin, but damn, she has nice curves. I'm posting two photos of her here, neither from the movie, just to show how awesome she can look in simple outfits. Photo to the right is a great look, hair in braids, baseball cap and no bra. It's something Alyssa Milano would approve. Uhh, the collage photo is from the movie "The New Guy" (don't watch that except for Dushku). In that movie, she has a 60 second sequence where she tries on bathing suits and prances around for the camera. She works it well. The still photos do not do this montage justice. In fact, it is reminiscent of the first night she cheers in "Bring It On". When the crew picks her up at her house, she comes to the door and prances around in her outfit. Magnificent.